tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45554875604005687642024-02-19T14:20:59.031+00:00To Helen BackUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger219125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-30088285241270630492018-12-17T20:34:00.002+00:002018-12-17T20:42:48.582+00:00'A Fairy's Tale' . From her spot <br />
At the top of the tree,<br />
Natasha stared down,accusingly.<br />
<br />
Every year <br />
They plonked her here,<br />
For a few weeks at best.<br />
<br />
She watched their fun,<br />
Until Christmas was done,<br />
Bottom of a box for all the rest!<br />
<br />
It wasn't just that though.<br />
For this year she was doubly cross,<br />
When they took her out,<br />
Her wings were lost!<br />
<br />
Disappeared they had,<br />
"Misplaced when moving"!<br />
One disgruntled fairy, disapproving! <br />
<br />
Her beautiful wings <br />
of immaculate lace,<br />
No longer perfectly sewn in place.<br />
<br />
She'd like to pretend she didn't care,<br />
But how could she fly,<br />
If they weren't there?!<br />
<br />
At that moment, <br />
Lifted down,<br />
Natasha noticed the little girl's frown.<br />
<br />
"You've lost your wings"<br />
The young one said softly,<br />
..."But I've got an idea! Just leave it to me".<br />
<br />
<br />
An hour passed <br />
and Natasha felt rotten,<br />
Once again fearing she'd been forgotten. <br />
<br />
When she saw something silver,<br />
Shimmering in candlelight,<br />
She somehow knew she'd be alright. <br />
<br />
"They're only tin foil"<br />
The little one said,<br />
"... I'll have to attach them,<br />
With Sellotape instead".<br />
<br />
Natasha, <br />
So happy she could have cried! <br />
New wings in place, <br />
She glowed with pride!<br />
<br />
Returned to her spot<br />
At the top of her tree,<br />
She shone in silver,<br />
For all to see! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Helen Sims <br />
<br />
<br />
#helenswriting<br />
<br />
#TakingSteps<br />
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(Image 'borrowed' from 'Google')<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-7181668871340173982018-09-12T16:40:00.000+01:002018-09-12T16:54:33.385+01:00A Brief Word - On Brexit, and Trump!I predicted the election of Trump, and I predicted Brexit. <br />
<br />
The 'experts' did not.<br />
<br />
<br />
Over the years society has (in general), become more selfish. <br />
<br />
<br />
In times of hardship and uncertainty it is -to an extent, understandable. It isn't excusable, but it's understandable.<br />
<br />
<br />
When you add to that a drip feed of right-wing ideology via the media (on behalf of various elements of power- elected as a result of uncertainty and selfishness), you've got something long-term, and cyclical. <br />
<br />
Each one feeds the other. It builds and builds. <br />
<br />
<br />
Various reactions take place. Like Brexit, and Trump. <br />
<br />
<br />
People look to an 'alternative' as a potential way out. <br />
<br />
<br />
After all, nothing else seems to be working. The media told us so! <br />
<br />
<br />
All those nasty, negative headlines...<br />
<br />
<br />
Refugees - referred to as 'migrants' or 'swarms'- so that you forget they are people. <br />
<br />
<br />
People with disability and illness labelled as 'scroungers' and demonised, so that there's someone else to blame, - besides the government and super rich tax avoiders, who are REALLY draining the various countries.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It wouldn't be in their interests for everybody to know that though, would it?<br />
<br />
More demonisation. <br />
<br />
More distraction tactics! <br />
<br />
<br />
Anything to stop you thinking about what (or whom)is actually at the heart of it!<br />
<br />
<br />
As a person with a disability, (I have Cerebral Palsy, and cannot walk or stand unaided), - Brexit terrifies me. <br />
<br />
<br />
People with disability need the protection of EU Disability and Human Rights laws. <br />
<br />
They aren't perfect but they're there, and we're suffering enough under Tory Welfare Reform policies as it is! - (See other blogs, or search: #EconomicMurder , #DWPCrimes , or #UNCRPD). <br />
<br />
<br />
I predicted it. So did others. Ask yourselves why the so-called 'experts' did not? <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_S3oqKICEOQd0i7SMuYacuzh71bjwXLnoxWIG1x-O79kWc0kIX8PSJSrSg9sk0syjWNImpCZslQmmekHlTsC19zt9LiiA4L9buaWOGtLWxBhxuJq1kVLOwJybP1o1jLBixrAElrRwQ80/s1600/TrumpBrexit3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_S3oqKICEOQd0i7SMuYacuzh71bjwXLnoxWIG1x-O79kWc0kIX8PSJSrSg9sk0syjWNImpCZslQmmekHlTsC19zt9LiiA4L9buaWOGtLWxBhxuJq1kVLOwJybP1o1jLBixrAElrRwQ80/s320/TrumpBrexit3.jpg" width="320" height="229" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1143" /></a></div><br />
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Pic - via Google.<br />
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#helenswriting <br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-48916259935037434812018-05-08T18:14:00.003+01:002018-05-08T18:14:43.107+01:00Depression - The Hand Around Your Ankle - (Repost).I've often been asked 'what is depression like'? <br />
<br />
Usually I would describe it like a hole that you can't quite get yourself out of but I think, maybe this might explain it a little better.<br />
<br />
It's like you're in water and everyone else is swimming happily around you but someone, (or something) has hold of your ankle and you're being pulled under,even though you fight with everything you've got not to.<br />
<br />
The harder you fight, the more desperate and tired you get.<br />
<br />
You know you should be swimming happily too - like other people are, and you feel so guilty that you can't get away, so you find yourself flapping your arms around and pretending to be like them. <br />
<br />
You don't want the people you love to look over and see you drowning, but you can't break free of the hand that's pulling you under.<br />
<br />
Over time it becomes a battle of wills.<br />
<br />
If you can just keep your head above water a little bit longer, then the hand around your ankle will get tired before you do, and gradually loosen the grip...<br />
<br />
it isn't simple and maybe I over simplify things a bit here. <br />
<br />
There are times even when you've begun the 'swim' back, and the hand will feel like it's going to grab you again, but you can keep your head above water. You know you can.<br />
<br />
When people have almost drowned, they often describe a surge of superhuman strength that stopped them going under the water. <br />
<br />
It's not easy when you're so tired that you can't see tomorrow, and you're so sick of feeling pain, that you just want it to stop. <br />
<br />
That's when you need to find it, most. Try to tread water and keep your head up for five more minutes, one more hour, or one more day, even. <br />
<br />
In time that hand around your ankle will loosen.<br />
<br />
Depression is an illness and you should never forget that. It is not your fault that you've found yourself here. It's perfectly OK to ask for help, because everybody needs help sometimes. It's nothing to be ashamed of, I promise.<br />
<br />
Just try to keep swimming. <br />
<br />
You are not alone. <br />
<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnE7d_TLFlNDNnpFtnK4Twz9gxKwJWzUrFFyN4oqMeaz6bS5LuED6wYC9VkZeQ4D0rv2QUBSvoehyphenhyphenGGsBt6RsqBejLP92YfuvwtI3P89bBKwAMv9065O4sJ_HtotH5iYAoB29HBnHSMM/s1600/swimming.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDnE7d_TLFlNDNnpFtnK4Twz9gxKwJWzUrFFyN4oqMeaz6bS5LuED6wYC9VkZeQ4D0rv2QUBSvoehyphenhyphenGGsBt6RsqBejLP92YfuvwtI3P89bBKwAMv9065O4sJ_HtotH5iYAoB29HBnHSMM/s320/swimming.jpg" width="273" height="320" data-original-width="207" data-original-height="243" /></a></div><br />
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#helenswriting <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-8111070113216770962017-12-06T18:21:00.001+00:002017-12-06T18:21:16.443+00:00"It's Christmas"! -(Poem)"It's Christmas"!<br />
They shout.<br />
"Care for the homeless.<br />
Keep the lonely company"!<br />
But where are they <br />
The rest of the year?<br />
Do they think the problems end here?<br />
<br />
<br />
"It's Christmas"!<br />
They shout. <br />
All peace and love,<br />
"Goodwill to all men",<br />
So that stops in January, then?<br />
<br />
"It's Christmas"!<br />
They shout,<br />
"Don't be greedy!<br />
Share our time,<br />
Help the needy"!<br />
<br />
Someone with nothing,<br />
They'll gather around her.<br />
Come New Year,<br />
She's "another 'Scrounger"!<br />
<br />
It's all fakery <br />
And blatant hypocrisy,<br />
If you don't stick around,<br />
To fight harmful policy!<br />
<br />
"It's Christmas"!<br />
They shout.<br />
Well it doesn't need to be. <br />
All it takes is a little empathy.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIVoh8AEVxMjGsNQ_sF3aCm5fXCK1rS8-gNjVQ4IwLPuDG6w_s1jvZqWOau4vIhzQQBovFZiCbVnpwy4SH_RVRups5jLZkmOUO6Q_VX8lVoAJynv6fSojYzeuz5cPXw6Xr0Jozzlq6vf8/s1600/ch.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIVoh8AEVxMjGsNQ_sF3aCm5fXCK1rS8-gNjVQ4IwLPuDG6w_s1jvZqWOau4vIhzQQBovFZiCbVnpwy4SH_RVRups5jLZkmOUO6Q_VX8lVoAJynv6fSojYzeuz5cPXw6Xr0Jozzlq6vf8/s320/ch.jpg" width="320" height="320" data-original-width="300" data-original-height="300" /></a><br />
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#helenswriting<br />
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#SocialJustice <br />
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#Homelessness<br />
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#ToriesOut <br />
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#Christmas <br />
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#Empathy<br />
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(Pic via Pinterest)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-33308409762188524542017-10-31T16:36:00.001+00:002017-10-31T16:36:40.663+00:00Halloween Horror! (Mini poem)<br />
Black cats, <br />
And witches brew.<br />
May lost a broomstick <br />
And had to buy new!<br />
<br />
Halloween sucks!<br />
A commercial farce<br />
You'd be of more use,<br />
Kicking Tory arse!<br />
<br />
Thier policies cause death,<br />
Destruction and pain,<br />
Darkness and evil<br />
In power again.<br />
<br />
Black cats<br />
And witches brew.<br />
Hope has to win,<br />
Or they come for you!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU68n5-tvYtbSQOx-HbXyVxav6VvVE8dZx9TJnhFsgCernRvDWBKYu8mEANShIHtFSfYrEST5poUpmRQuNlECMwYPjjzihzY8H_RqpYWD0VGosKmJlPcvIsY5jZ0rMHxUM4o73XeGT_gY/s1600/hallow.png" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU68n5-tvYtbSQOx-HbXyVxav6VvVE8dZx9TJnhFsgCernRvDWBKYu8mEANShIHtFSfYrEST5poUpmRQuNlECMwYPjjzihzY8H_RqpYWD0VGosKmJlPcvIsY5jZ0rMHxUM4o73XeGT_gY/s320/hallow.png" width="320" height="204" data-original-width="753" data-original-height="480" /></a><br />
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Pic -via Pinterest<br />
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#helenswritingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-72423990621816308892017-10-04T17:41:00.002+01:002017-10-04T17:41:52.044+01:00You'll Find Me. (Mini Poem -For Book Stuff)This is about being free,<br />
And always about the words,<br />
You see.<br />
<br />
<br />
It is to focus <br />
On what I CAN do,<br />
And the things I need <br />
to say to you.<br />
<br />
<br />
It is positivity <br />
And being proud.<br />
Saying what I have to,<br />
-Aloud. <br />
<br />
<br />
Mix activism,<br />
With love. <br />
Add creativity<br />
And what you'll find,<br />
Is me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvq_g5TKqiyx8L3msfBrZycSWh41q2zJX4-xUcQk6DTeyJH1nAdCLTwSi63ln7PYG5-_lha8GFhtPdqgmCK_1r3ON2bkaXBR90bWHeegxISGaqibapYwvtMWDyUaU06LG9J4qPPTnZUo4/s1600/Taking+Steps+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvq_g5TKqiyx8L3msfBrZycSWh41q2zJX4-xUcQk6DTeyJH1nAdCLTwSi63ln7PYG5-_lha8GFhtPdqgmCK_1r3ON2bkaXBR90bWHeegxISGaqibapYwvtMWDyUaU06LG9J4qPPTnZUo4/s320/Taking+Steps+Cover.jpg" width="200" height="320" data-original-width="1000" data-original-height="1600" /></a><br />
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#TakingSteps<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-8451245505089947362017-09-06T13:03:00.000+01:002017-09-07T15:29:13.930+01:00Jacob Rees Mogg -The Hateful TruthRegular readers will know I have battled my local MP(Jacob Rees-Mogg)over Tory Welfare 'Reform'(and other austerity policies)since 2010. <br />
<br />
These policies are known to harm and kill(in thousands) people with disability and illness.How does this fit with his view that life is 'sacrosanct', I wonder?! <br />
<br />
Despite best efforts of many to raise awareness of his horrifying voting record(which you can see below), - he was re-elected, and now he's tipped as a potential Tory leader!<br />
<br />
<br />
https://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/24926/jacob_rees-mogg/north_east_somerset<br />
<br />
<br />
It seems that nothing can dent him, as people prefer to see his 'eccentric' personality rather than the reality of his voting record, and the hate he supports.<br />
<br />
I am hoping that the clip I attach of an interview Mr Rees-Mogg gave to'Good Morning Britain', will finally help people see what this man is really like.<br />
<br />
In it he stated his view that abortion shouldn't be allowed in any circumstance. Even those where a woman has been a victim of rape or incest! Such views are abhorrent and should be treated as such. <br />
<br />
He also admitted (in the same interview), what many already know - that he does not support gay rights and equality.<br />
<br />
As a constituent, (person with a disability, and long time campaigner) I am ashamed that this man (apparently) represents people in my area, and I hereby tell him, your views do NOT represent me!<br />
<br />
I am also terrified by the possibility that he will climb the rungs of the Conservative Party. He has voted in favour of Social Security caps and cuts which have destroyed (and ended)countless lives. <br />
<br />
He is even against the process that would assess their true impact!<br />
<br />
With all these things, as well as this latest interview, I worry that views like his will increasingly become the norm.<br />
<br />
Please, please, do not allow this to happen!<br />
<br />
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE6WC_BVZ4Q<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WE6WC_BVZ4Q"></a><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh35wvUnCoMn5fTUS7_vl9sn87z5os4PSpBqq_gTEGaBFL9O7xDg_0pD6pLE0z9qicNaCOy2yhoXt5TdfbNTsL-J0vzKRqb4YQNokMTp1Oj4M4X8QAuCuE2scmxXTahLWPMVFBrz29Xl-4/s1600/JRM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh35wvUnCoMn5fTUS7_vl9sn87z5os4PSpBqq_gTEGaBFL9O7xDg_0pD6pLE0z9qicNaCOy2yhoXt5TdfbNTsL-J0vzKRqb4YQNokMTp1Oj4M4X8QAuCuE2scmxXTahLWPMVFBrz29Xl-4/s320/JRM.jpg" width="320" height="168" data-original-width="600" data-original-height="315" /></a></div><br />
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(Hoping links are clickable in this post. Blog format playing up)!<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-18216971105336199632017-06-15T22:09:00.003+01:002017-09-06T21:14:06.357+01:00IF 'Austerity is Over'... (A Very Mini Blog)Not that I believe a word Theresa May says,(and it has since been disagreed with by other ministers) but I will say this:<br />
<br />
<br />
IF 'Austerity is over', we will have our apology now, please!<br />
<br />
<br />
An apology for every life that has been lost or destroyed.<br />
<br />
<br />
An apology for every moment of fear and anxiety we have suffered.<br />
<br />
<br />
An apology for every lie and doctored figure, (uttered and written) to justify cruelty!<br />
<br />
<br />
An apology for every instance of hate crime and verbal abuse caused by 'scrounger' rhetoric!<br />
<br />
<br />
It still would NEVER be enough.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Did they cut the 'deficit'? No. They added to it.<br />
<br />
<br />
Did they achieve any of the goals they told us were 'necessary' ? <br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
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It seems it was all for nothing and didn't NEED to happen, but didn't we know that anyway?!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtMl5kIbD4xtjQqq2ybr5wfIy4olhWxPcTnkp8Ifi5jFlEXQRPmb1GiA5bBrPa-oktbVArV5wyZUDrJyw2mUUcXde17HJzxtK4s-S5vBb2uwaR0yG34ybxGgQBmdJwxsUQNZq-dBCCRsY/s1600/austerity.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtMl5kIbD4xtjQqq2ybr5wfIy4olhWxPcTnkp8Ifi5jFlEXQRPmb1GiA5bBrPa-oktbVArV5wyZUDrJyw2mUUcXde17HJzxtK4s-S5vBb2uwaR0yG34ybxGgQBmdJwxsUQNZq-dBCCRsY/s320/austerity.jpg" width="273" height="320" data-original-width="1024" data-original-height="1200" /></a><br />
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#helenswriting<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-92031328126479823782017-05-28T17:11:00.001+01:002017-05-28T18:02:56.503+01:00Fairytale Enemies... (Poem). "I won't eat you, I promise" Said the wolf<br />
With a smile of sharp white teeth.<br />
She eyed him doubtfully,<br />
For there were signs of drool beneath!<br />
<br />
"I won't eat you, I promise", <br />
he said again,<br />
"Let's put the past behind us, and be friends"!<br />
<br />
Miss Riding Hood thought,<br />
'This might be good',<br />
But Grandmother told her,<br />
She never should.<br />
<br />
"I'll never eat you, I promise, <br />
Your bones will be too crunchy for me.<br />
These days I prefer something juicy,for my tea".<br />
<br />
"I don't believe you, <br />
For you tell lies.<br />
I know that ominous twinkle in your eye".<br />
<br />
"Oh well..." Said the wolf, <br />
"I will eat these chocolate bars.<br />
I might have shared them, <br />
If we'd gotten that far".<br />
<br />
"Chocolate?<br />
Chocolate, you say.<br />
What type is it? <br />
Tell me, pray"!<br />
<br />
"It has cream and caramel,<br />
With chocolate chips. <br />
It would taste good, wouldn't it,<br />
On your lips"?<br />
<br />
Thinking for a second,<br />
She stayed where she stood,<br />
Just as Grandma had said she should.<br />
<br />
'But a chocolate bar' she thought, <br />
'I could just have one!<br />
If things get out of hand,<br />
I can always run'.<br />
<br />
"OK, I agree," <br />
replied the Hood,<br />
"After all, you did promise,<br />
That you wouldn't eat me".<br />
<br />
Holding out a hand,<br />
Hood stepped nearer,<br />
And the wily wolf,<br />
Could see much clearer.<br />
<br />
He gave her a bar,<br />
While extending his claws,<br />
Poor Hood forget everything,<br />
She'd been taught before.<br />
<br />
She turned her back,<br />
And took another bite,<br />
Suddenly sunlight turned to night.<br />
<br />
Poor gullible Hood,<br />
Gave a terrified cry,<br />
And in her last moments,<br />
She asked him why?<br />
<br />
"Because wolves are wolves,<br />
And my instinct is true.<br />
I guess I would always eat you."<br />
<br />
Fairytale enemies, <br />
Can never be friends,<br />
And Hood was never seen again. <br />
<br />
<br />
(Image by ~Artylay on deviantART)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiysd0zDs8MgzrBvwOSp3CMlgxUe1t11l6sRtS3nPhpzTC2JgjYM8Kk72G1M3iSxRp0qpiW40KwjlMBBaq4GMUjJPnzyicBq87mkri6STheBUMLOnjG0GEKN8JHZPmOIG8_UWkrUsX5Scw/s1600/Red.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiysd0zDs8MgzrBvwOSp3CMlgxUe1t11l6sRtS3nPhpzTC2JgjYM8Kk72G1M3iSxRp0qpiW40KwjlMBBaq4GMUjJPnzyicBq87mkri6STheBUMLOnjG0GEKN8JHZPmOIG8_UWkrUsX5Scw/s320/Red.jpg" width="236" height="320" data-original-width="709" data-original-height="960" /></a><br />
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#helenswriting<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-31516699156355414892017-05-14T20:43:00.001+01:002017-05-17T21:13:24.634+01:00Suicide is Painful...I was asked if I have talked to anyone who has been suicidal, as a result of Tory policies, or 'Scrounger' rhetoric?<br />
<br />
<br />
I would never give details, but yes. Countless times.<br />
<br />
<br />
Have I ever been so worried about a person, that I've called their local police to do a check?<br />
<br />
<br />
Yes, and there have been times when I have been bloody glad I did it!<br />
<br />
<br />
I am not saying this to 'big myself up'. Regular readers will know that I rarely discuss what I do, here.<br />
<br />
I am saying this because in all my years of 'activism' and raising awareness, suicidal people were, (thankfully) a rarity.<br />
<br />
<br />
Since 2010, when Tories returned to power and pushed through the destructive, draconian, life destroying, soul destroying Welfare Reform Bill, it isn't rare.<br />
<br />
<br />
The early hours of the morning are the worst time.<br />
<br />
<br />
People reach the end of their tether when it is dark, when they don't know if they will keep their homes, feed their families, or they're so panicked about facing an assessment (and the possibility of losing vital financial support), that they would rather DIE than face it!<br />
<br />
<br />
Some people might think it is an overreaction, but it isn't.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's desperation and feeling like there isn't anywhere to turn.<br />
<br />
<br />
It is years of government (and media) lies and 'scrounger' rhetoric, about Social Security claimants.<br />
<br />
<br />
There is only so long you can be told you're essentially not worth helping, before it starts to get to you, and you believe it.<br />
<br />
<br />
Personally, I think it is a conscious and deliberate act.<br />
<br />
<br />
They know these policies are costing lives, (in more ways than one), and if it was unintentional, these policies would have been stopped at the first suicide.<br />
<br />
<br />
They haven't been, and it was known that this was likely to happen, even without an 'Impact Assessment', which SHOULD have been done.<br />
<br />
<br />
Those in power seem to me, to assume that 'broken people, don't fight back'and so they have made life as difficult as they can for people with disabilities and illness, as well as those who are homeless, or on low incomes.<br />
<br />
<br />
They're wrong though because we DO fight back. Every step of the way! <br />
<br />
We can, because there are more of us, than there are of them!<br />
<br />
<br />
Nobody chooses to be ill or have a disability. I certainly didn't choose my Cerebral Palsy!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Disability or illness, sudden loss of income or an unforeseen change in circumstances, can happen to ANYONE, at any time.<br />
<br />
<br />
We don't have a choice about the circumstances we find ourselves in, and nobody knows what could be just around the corner for them. <br />
<br />
I hope people make the right choice, rather than continuing to ignore suffering. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6rVnnYysvZ8eD4ec5PhPhJM3fnxsuQMO5NmDOzhai-TEqz4wESaGPfpVCcrappktP8lNQKt2G5thHXmjfJjsbtV-hwAcNAQGy4X7bCzwh_q7X7R4O4iTTAemWLDGFvxzxovc3u0bt2QY/s1600/bbb.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6rVnnYysvZ8eD4ec5PhPhJM3fnxsuQMO5NmDOzhai-TEqz4wESaGPfpVCcrappktP8lNQKt2G5thHXmjfJjsbtV-hwAcNAQGy4X7bCzwh_q7X7R4O4iTTAemWLDGFvxzxovc3u0bt2QY/s320/bbb.jpg" width="278" height="320" /></a><br />
<br />
(Image via 'Pinterest)'<br />
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#Helenswriting<br />
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(Please Note: I have respected people's confidentiality by not revealing details and identities, and will be continuing to do so).<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-24140691842481637572017-05-01T21:58:00.000+01:002017-09-06T21:14:49.449+01:00Nobody Gets to See the Wizard... (Poem -Original Version). <br />
<br />
<br />
Nobody gets to see the wizard,<br />
Even if they believe in magic<br />
Like it'll disappear tomorrow.<br />
<br />
<br />
Nobody gets to see the wizard<br />
Coloured robes or magical eyes,<br />
There won't be a dash of hocus pocus<br />
To make everything all right.<br />
<br />
<br />
Nobody gets to see the wizard,<br />
Or grow wings and dream of flight,<br />
There is no perfect stream of answers,<br />
Or instant flashes of light.<br />
<br />
<br />
Nobody gets to see the wizard<br />
Coloured stars to distant places<br />
Because a wizard, though you won't believe it,<br />
Lives within the mirror.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi846P_xy80CsCCZylauJs7u4ae95OXk97pgByzOixoDV8xF0xtZm2xbNXaNwrGkm_WqDRd_RdOQUs0btFE2dJVbFx8Iz9damr4zYAJWZGMS9o1CiWUggXKwBcBiIL2rg177gfyG7nhU0A/s1600/own+magic.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi846P_xy80CsCCZylauJs7u4ae95OXk97pgByzOixoDV8xF0xtZm2xbNXaNwrGkm_WqDRd_RdOQUs0btFE2dJVbFx8Iz9damr4zYAJWZGMS9o1CiWUggXKwBcBiIL2rg177gfyG7nhU0A/s320/own+magic.jpg" width="214" height="320" data-original-width="564" data-original-height="845" /></a><br />
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(Image from 'Pinterest' via thesweetesthing.com )<br />
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#helenswritingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-76187414784417858672017-05-01T21:44:00.000+01:002017-05-01T21:44:15.100+01:00We're Fighting For Our Lives! (A Mini Blog).<br />
<br />
Three weeks before the General Election, I'll 'celebrate' my twenty eighth anniversary as a campaigner, (albeit in different ways, through my lifetime).<br />
<br />
<br />
In 2017 none of this still should be necessary, and we definitely should not be fighting for basics, the rights we have lost, and the right to be seen as human beings, rather than 'Scroungers'!<br />
<br />
<br />
We should not be dying in thousands as a result of government policy, -but it IS happening!<br />
<br />
<br />
We should not be being vilified and lied about in the press, (in an attempt to justify cruel and unfair cuts to vital support), but we ARE!<br />
<br />
<br />
We are fighting for our independence, dignity, self-respect, and the right to do the things many take for granted.<br />
<br />
<br />
Disability and illness are not a choice and no one is immune from the possibility that it could happen to them, so we are fighting for YOUR rights TOO!<br />
<br />
<br />
Although I know that I don't have the right to tell anyone how to vote, I will tell you that this is reality, now.<br />
<br />
<br />
When I started campaigning (or raising awareness, as I prefer to call it), I was fighting to make things better. Better access, better inclusion, and positivity.<br />
<br />
<br />
Now, we fight for our LIVES!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigoM_0jrq1xVCytAYBKIPhnC4m6QO0sK-7XS2j8MHSNvCwIo_YnTMKuz9S5Q0tp01jiQBmZY1Gc0pzU4Ofmfto7qkknynN9e20t15SVxeWNCqQ1cLMKUqA7szrZmu-K1nVLsYsig5MZbo/s1600/tag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigoM_0jrq1xVCytAYBKIPhnC4m6QO0sK-7XS2j8MHSNvCwIo_YnTMKuz9S5Q0tp01jiQBmZY1Gc0pzU4Ofmfto7qkknynN9e20t15SVxeWNCqQ1cLMKUqA7szrZmu-K1nVLsYsig5MZbo/s320/tag.jpg" width="320" height="267" /></a></div><br />
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(Image: Google).<br />
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#HelenswritingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-74447082738079223222017-04-23T19:25:00.001+01:002017-04-23T19:31:43.857+01:00Living In Fear -(A Repost).<br />
In light of the Snap Election, I felt it was necessary to repost one of my blogs from 2014.<br />
<br />
I feel it illustrates the damage that is STILL being done to the Mental Health, (and the lives) of people with a disability and illness, as a result of government policy.<br />
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Thank you for taking the time to read it. <br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
'Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me. It’s hard to fight when you’re tired of fighting.<br />
Living with a disability is exhausting, frustrating, crushing, painful – and endless. There are so many obstacles in my life that I would never have asked for, and sometimes I feel so angry, hurt and frustrated that I don’t know what to do with myself.<br />
<br />
Cerebral Palsy is not a choice. I would give anything to be able to stand and walk unaided, get in and out of the bath without help, stand long enough to cook a meal for my husband and myself. Hell, I’d settle for being able to carry a cup of tea across the room!<br />
<br />
All I have ever wanted is a ‘normal’ life – to have a job, and be a Mum. None of those options are open to me – and it’s not my fault.<br />
<br />
I wish society and this government understood what it is like every single day. The energy (and willpower) it takes to do even the smallest thing. There are some days when I really don’t have that energy, either physically or mentally, and it’s all I can do to get out of bed.<br />
<br />
I know I’m luckier than a lot of people – ‘there is always someone worse off than you’ is something I have always be taught. I live by it, I believe it, and I’ve always done my best to care for and help others,despite what I may be going through privately.<br />
<br />
I've been a Disability Rights campaigner, at different levels, (and when able), since I was eight years old. (nearly twenty six years), and I'm watching the cause I love, and passionately believe in, being set backwards.<br />
<br />
That’s part of why I’m writing this now – it’s why I’ve written many things. If I can make one person understand what it feels like to live with a disability in a society which still doesn’t accept, respect, and properly care for people like me, then I’ve done my job.<br />
<br />
Before the coalition came to power in May 2010, I was coming to terms with things. I was more secure, happy, and confident in myself than I’ve ever been in my life.<br />
I still felt bad about the fact I couldn’t manage a job, (I did work once before my mobility, pain and energy levels got worse). I did voluntary work too.<br />
<br />
There was a place in society for me. It’s never been an equal place, but we were getting there slowly. At least disabled people were wanted in society. We weren’t viewed with suspicion, or labelled as ‘scroungers’, leaches accused of bleeding the country dry, or targeted for seemingly contributing (largely) to the country’s deficit.<br />
<br />
I want those days back so badly. I did not realise how lucky I was – how lucky we all were. We were people then. We are not now, not in the eyes of the government.<br />
We are living in fear of losing our vital benefits and our independence. Independence (what I am able to have of it), is a precious thing to me. I have fought to hold on to it against all the odds.<br />
<br />
When I was 14 years old, I had major orthopaedic surgery in a hospital nearly two hundred miles from my home in Somerset. My bones were broken and reset, muscles were cut, and I had to learn to walk from scratch. My family couldn’t stay with me – they had to go to work, and my sister to school.<br />
There were days of agonising physio, crippling loneliness, and the start of my lifelong battle with clinical depression. Now, all these years later, I realise that I had to go through it to keep myself out of a wheelchair, protect my freedom and independence for as long as I can.<br />
<br />
I’m terrified that the government will take that from me if my Disability Living Allowance is withdrawn. I dread not qualifying for Personal Independence Payment – even though I fight the daily pain of Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome on top of everything else!<br />
<br />
It won’t count under the‘tick box’ computer programme that they use to decide our lives. I fear the Work Compatibility Assessment so much that I have nightmares about it. Waking up sweating and panicking with knots in my stomach is not conducive to a good night’s sleep, so I can’t get the rest I badly need.<br />
<br />
I’m not alone. Thousands of disabled and ill people across the country are living with the fear everyday. I jump at the sound of the letter box, just in case it’s my turn.<br />
<br />
I don’t trust what they say about dates, regulations and criteria for benefits anymore, because it’s been changed so often, and those changes have been allowed to slip under the radar – and so have the deaths of sick and disabled people who have wrongfully been found ‘fit for work.<br />
<br />
A growing number of sick and disabled people are dying prematurely after being found ‘fit for work’. Either their conditions have deteriorated or they have chosen to end their own lives; simply unable to face either the assessment itself or a life of poverty and hardship without benefits.<br />
<br />
Yes, you can appeal the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) decision, but, due to a backlog at the DWP, as well as changes to legal aid (and who can qualify for it), it will take ages, and for many, life will become even more impossible – and even if it isn’t, it will feel it.<br />
<br />
I’m lucky to have my husband and his pension to rely on so my situation is nowhere near as dire as it will be for some who have been let down by inhumane system. Even so, I am actually considering signing of Disability Living Allowance, because I simply cannot live with the fear any longer.<br />
<br />
I will have to close my bank account and be completely reliant on my husband financially – just like I’m reliant on him for so many other things already. I’ll hate that, because I already feel like a burden, even though he assures me I’m not.<br />
<br />
My precious independence will be gone – but at least I’ll be able to sleep again, and I will not have to fear being judged and told I am not worth supporting.<br />
<br />
The ‘scrounger rhetoric’ and negative media coverage has attacked what self esteem I have been able to get for myself. I used to feel proud. I was a wife, daughter, sister, writer and disability rights campaigner. My benefits were secure and I all I had to worry about was finding the energy to get through the day.<br />
<br />
Now, my old demon of not being able to work is back, and compounded, because the ‘aspiring’ ‘achieving’ nation (and its government) hates benefit claimants – no matter how justified we are. They do not seem to care about the affect their policies are having upon vulnerable people in society. It doesn’t seem to matter as long as people like us aren’t taking ‘honest, hardworking taxpayers money’. We work hard just to get through the day!<br />
<br />
Fighting for myself and others is now more important than ever before. We are fighting for our lives, against Bedroom Tax, the Housing Benefit cap, the closure of the Independent Living Fund, cuts in social care and so many other vital services.<br />
<br />
Why is it that the cuts have to come down hardest on those that need the most help? How can you call this a fair society when we are struggling, largely unseen and uncared for when the rich bankers (the very people who caused this mess) get bonuses and tax breaks!<br />
<br />
Disabled and vulnerable people should not be used as scapegoats. It makes me sick to my stomach that we are being punished simply for being too ill or disabled to work, no matter how much we might want to! Blame the people who are really at fault – the tax avoiders, the bankers and our governments for letting this happen.<br />
<br />
I will spend everyday, for the rest of my life, fighting against this if I have to – but I shouldn’t have to. None of us should!<br />
<br />
The Bedroom Tax will fall disproportionately upon sick and disabled people. Whilst there have been exemptions made for families with disabled children, those that need overnight carers, people with adult children serving in the forces who still need a room at home, and a few other things, disabled adults are still not exempt.<br />
<br />
I am one of the lucky ones, because this particular punishment for being on benefits (that’s essentially what many of these policies are) will not impact on me. I am so thankful for that, because I do not think I could stand having to leave my home. I can only imagine what thousands of others like me are going through. They know they have to pay up or move out of a home they may have lived in, loved, and felt safe in for years.<br />
Where do they go? There is a national shortage of social housing as a whole – not just the one and bedroom accommodation that many people will need to downsize. Homelessness is bound to rise as people cannot afford to stay (a claimant loses 14% of Housing Benefit for the first spare bedroom, and 25% for two or more extra bedrooms) but have nowhere to go.<br />
<br />
Each council will offer a ‘Discretionary Housing Payment’ to try and help those they consider to be the most in need. Personally I would like to know who will make that decision and how? It is important to realise that the pot of money allocated to help those hit by Bedroom Tax, is nowhere near the amount needed. People who need help will suffer even more than they already are. I also feel that these Discretionary Housing Payments have been severely under-publicised.<br />
<br />
I’ll say it once again. It is not fair to make the weakest and most vulnerable in society pay for the mistakes and greed of the rich.<br />
<br />
Stripping disabled people of our rights, independence and self respect is the coldest and most callous of things any government can do and I have to pinch myself sometimes to even believe that it’s happening in a so called compassionate, caring society.<br />
<br />
I just wish it would stop. What this government has done to us is psychological torture. We are told we are worthless, scrounging, and lazy, day in and day out. On top of that the fear of the Work Compatibility Assessment is hanging over us like the sword of Damocles!<br />
<br />
It is not fair for anyone to live like this, and I keep thinking ‘please, somebody stop them, before anybody else feels like they cannot carry on’ – but nobody does. I just want a chance to live as normal a life as I can. I’m not asking for much, just to keep what independence I have and to get my self respect back. Haven’t I been through enough already? Haven't all of us?! If I was face to face with you right now, I would ask you only one question – How would you feel if this was happening to you'?<br />
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#helenswritingUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-36976436180173923062017-04-07T22:51:00.002+01:002017-04-08T10:42:10.467+01:00A Year On...<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
The years of subtle and not so subtle bullying I endured when I campaigned the old way (until a year ago), have had long-term consequences. Bullying always does.</div>
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I was emotionally blackmailed and subtly intimidated. Lies and rumours were spread, and people I had considered friends, believed them.<br />
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It added to the depression and anxiety I already suffer, and made me feel terrible about myself. I cried at night.<br />
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It isn't something you just 'get over' when you escape it, and the people concerned can carry on as normal, showing a different face to everyone else.</div>
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I still have my activism, although I no longer do it the way I used to, and I don't feel the same about it as I did.</div>
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I am not saying this to be difficult. I am saying this to tell people that any nastiness, lies, or attempts to ostracise a person, are just as damaging online as off it.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Actually I think it might be worse!</span></div>
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It impacts on 'real life' too. It isn't something that just disappears from your mind when you turn off the computer.</div>
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It causes anxiety, self-doubt and paranoia. It leaves you not knowing who to trust and in my case, it took away my love of campaigning as well.</div>
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I want people to know how much it hurts, and a year on, I still suffer because of it.</div>
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I got off lightly in comparison with some people's experience of cyber bullying, but it doesn't mean I suffered less.</div>
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Bullying is never acceptable, and the campaigning world is rife with it, from some of the people you would least expect.</div>
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Please be aware that this is happening, even as a result of something as small as voicing alternative opinions!</div>
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I am not alone. It has happened to many, who have given years of their lives to the cause.</div>
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<br /></div>
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It has taken me a year to write about this and I'm sure you will understand why I won't go into details. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I made a decision to stop blogging regularly, and removed myself from the few groups I was still in.<br />
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At the time, I didn't want to campaign at all, ever again, and I was looking forward to being 'free', but after twenty odd years (and having started as young as I did), it isn't something you can give up easily.</div>
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Instead I've gone back to general awareness raising, as I'd done for many years before I brought my 'campaigning' online.</div>
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In the intervening year, I have been able to meet lots of new people, talk to them, and get the message out wider. I have also been able to use my creativity to help me do that, which has made me happy again.</div>
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Please remember that n<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">o matter what group it may be in, or how 'big' a name might be involved, you do not have to put up with it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Love,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Helen. xx</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzLrMWgbb4WTFMDr6DjOXZY-06UAWSx5cVvgXrprupLkofJaYlGzzD3bGE7KGVRAnd13KnTB9qKqBjihzdUtp2x7oeqG_GdO5Px_ewByREdE0_C4xPGX_u0zQFJYlnXL3oS75Y7MHIXs0/s1600/Cyber.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzLrMWgbb4WTFMDr6DjOXZY-06UAWSx5cVvgXrprupLkofJaYlGzzD3bGE7KGVRAnd13KnTB9qKqBjihzdUtp2x7oeqG_GdO5Px_ewByREdE0_C4xPGX_u0zQFJYlnXL3oS75Y7MHIXs0/s320/Cyber.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Image: Google.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-87494487392523228302017-03-14T21:06:00.001+00:002017-03-14T21:19:24.324+00:00Arabesque - A Very Short Story.<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She stood up to her ankles in the
ford between Low Row and Feetham, and watched the water rush over the stones on
the other side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Whose idea was this? My feet are
freezin’!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You need to live a little, Cass!
You’d do better if you went in deeper”...Vicky shouted from her position,
perfectly poised on one of the larger stones, where the river (it was a river
now after almost a week of rain), was at its deepest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It’s alright for you! You’re used to
this. I miss my hair straighteners and my lovely warm, comfy bed”!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Wimp”! Vicky called back, as she
jumped easily between stones, holding her arms and extending one leg in an
arabesque as she landed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Wimp, I may be, but I’m not coming
in any further...”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The water had pooled and risen up her
calves. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Seeing that there was no one but her
friend around, Cass hitched up her dress, and tucked it into her knickers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She stepped a little closer to the
middle, and stomped briefly on the ground. She could still feel it,
reassuringly solid beneath her feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Here. Watch this!” Vicky called
over. Cass instinctively covered her eyes, but peered reluctantly through
fingers, just in case she needed to tell the coroner what happened!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">With that, Vicky turned and propelled
herself into the air, almost like a pirouette, landing easily on the stone next
but one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Cass’s stomach flipped, “Could you
stop it? You’re scaring me...We need to go. It’ll be dark before long.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Wuss”! Vicky retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Ere...” A man’s voice came out of
nowhere, “You don’t want paddle int’ ford! It be the death a thee”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The girls looked over to see the
shadow disappear almost as quickly as it had come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh no, it’s fine. We’re going now”
Vicky replied, reluctantly stepping off her stone and making her way towards
the edge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Where did he go?” Vicky looked
around, but in fast fading light could see nothing but the shadow her friend,
still waiting in the shallows of the ford.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Suddenly, the brightest light came
down the hill, and was upon the ford without warning, - accompanied by the rush
of water, and a sickening thud. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Vicky screamed as her eyes searched
frantically for Cass. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There was nothing but headlights,
seemingly frozen a short distance away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She waded towards them, almost faster
than her legs could carry her, occasionally slipping forward as the water
pushed against her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Calling for Cass again, Vicky was
blinded by the beams and shivering as she reached the place near to where her
friend had been standing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She didn’t even look up at the face
of the man who stood crying in front of her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Where is she...Where IS SHE?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Vicky asked through sobs, already
knowing and dreading the answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I tried to stop...suddenly she was
there and ...I couldn’t...she didn’t....The brakes”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Within minutes Vicky found herself sitting
in the back of an ambulance, wrapped in blankets and tin foil. She watched
hopelessly through tears, as the stretcher carrying Cass’s body passed the
door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For the rest of her life, she would
never forget today. The blue lights of the ambulance reflecting in the water,
the thud, and the sudden searing cold and the incredible guilt that held her
heart <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br />
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<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Neither would she ever know the
identity of the shadow that had forewarned them, a little too late.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">(Please excuse any formatting issues)!</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-11538805502572898602017-02-11T20:28:00.000+00:002017-02-12T14:54:35.465+00:00For Sylvia -And Her Bell Jar. <div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="9drqe" data-offset-key="fkd4k-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<br /><br />‘I've read 'The Bell Jar' twice. I love it. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It helped me realise I wasn't alone in some of the feelings I felt, (and feel) when the depression hits. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I can get through it though. I always do. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I wish Sylvia (Plath) had believed that, because what she had to say about mental illness - about lots of things - was important. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I wish she had written more novels, because I love her descriptions and insight. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It takes a lot of guts to write with such honesty. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sylvia had more guts than she thought she did, I think. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />To me suicide isn't 'the coward's way out' as many describe it. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's moments of desperation all strung together, to make you feel like you are in a deep black hole that you can never get out of. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sense leaves you for a while. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Pain and desperation take over, and you just want it all to stop. That's what happened to Sylvia. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Things do get better though. For me they did.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You just have to find the strength to hang on, and take one day at a time. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />RIP Sylvia, and as this anniversary of her death comes and goes, I for one, think her novel is a masterpiece and I'm grateful for it. <br /><br /><br /><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="9drqe" data-offset-key="9g0an-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span data-offset-key="6ni8q-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">(Please excuse formatting issues. Still trying to solve them).</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-53863644524867722132017-02-01T21:15:00.001+00:002017-02-01T22:53:22.277+00:00A Problem Unseen -(Spatial Awareness and Me).<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
I've been asked what it is like to have spatial awareness problems?</div>
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Spatial awareness is the ability to judge gaps, distances, depths, and spaces correctly.</div>
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Due to my Cerebral Palsy it is one of the (hidden) things that I find difficult.</div>
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Rather than being able to see (and judge) those things, I often have to do it by memory -which isn't a problem if I am in familiar places.</div>
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It becomes a problem if I have to go down steep unfamiliar steps, kerbs or gaps. My body automatically braces and I panic, until I've taken the first few steps.</div>
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Something like stepping off a train onto the platform is a good example to illustrate the problem, and it is compounded by knowledge of people behind me, who might be in a hurry!</div>
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Most people judge the gap between train and platform instinctively. They take such things for granted.</div>
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To me, such a gap can appear wider or narrower or deeper than it really is, so I (again) become very conscious of it. Someone has to say to me, 'you're nearly there'...or whatever.</div>
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This is obviously a problem if I've had to get out of the wheelchair because a place isn't accessible IN it!</div>
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I can walk (a very short distance) on my crutches, (and not at all without them), but it isn't very long before I am in agony, especially if I've had to stand still.</div>
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Another example is those horrible stairs with the gaps in, where you can see straight down through!</div>
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Hopefully you will be able to imagine why they are difficult.</div>
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I have to judge the distance of the gap between steps, but it will be distorted by the gap between me and the ground.</div>
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Often such staircases are carpet free, so add to that a fear of slipping!</div>
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Another problem is unfamiliar or narrow doorways. I often hesitate before I go through them because I'm trying to judge the space, between me and the door or door frame.</div>
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Friends joke that I'm the only person they have ever met that can trip over a door - and I have!</div>
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There have been many occasions when I have misjudged the space and one of my crutches (or feet) has caught on a door, and I've fallen over!</div>
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In my teens, I was assessed as fit to learn to drive. I was surprised, but knowing how much freedom and independence it would give me, (-VERY precious things, when you gave a disability which compromises them, and another thing many take for granted), I decided to try. I was desperate to do it.</div>
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I took my lessons in a specially adapted car, as I am unable to use the pedals.</div>
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I found judging the spaces and distances on the road very difficult, almost nightmarish, and as a person who already suffers from anxiety and depression, there was a lot if added stress.</div>
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There were some lessons when it was all perfect. Somehow I'd learnt that space in the road. I was calm and able to drive very well, and then the next lesson I'd be unable to judge at all, and I'd end up trimming hedges for the council!</div>
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I grew to fear my lessons and feel like a failure even more than I already did. I was often physically sick beforehand, but it was so important to me that I did it and I had a wonderfully patient instructor!</div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.32px;">One day, before a lesson, I just started to shake and cry. </span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.32px;">After discussions with my family we decided that it just wasn't worth it...and we left it open that I would call him, if I ever wanted another lesson. It never happened.</span></div>
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People don't realise the non visible aspects of having a disability or illness. </div>
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They often don't think about the unseen difficulties or the energy everything takes, but just because something isn't visible, it doesn't mean it isn't there and it is exhausting, every single day!<br />
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#helenswriting</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-41861490275746211762017-01-02T21:56:00.000+00:002017-03-13T22:05:43.889+00:00They Hate You Because...<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
They hate you because<br />You refuse to compete<br />And you still beat them,<br />Hands and feet.</div>
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They hate you because<br />Where they've fallen apart,<br />You've stayed strong<br />And not lost heart.</div>
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They hate you because<br />While they shout and scream<br />You go your own way<br />And work for your dream.</div>
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They hate you because<br />While they bask in limelight,<br />You do the work,<br />You keep up the fight.</div>
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They hate you because<br />While they scheme and swear,<br />You get what you want<br />With reason and care.</div>
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They hate you because<br />While they just hang on,<br />You will still be there,<br />When they are long gone.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-7051574503152518542016-12-17T13:30:00.001+00:002016-12-17T13:31:46.895+00:00Walkies!<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
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Managed a little walk (just to the end of our road) at the expense of my back, and (already troublesome) hips, but it was worth it.</div>
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Perfect walking weather - if there is such a thing! Refreshing, but not cold - (or too warm). Either extreme causes problems.</div>
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Saw the little black cat at the end of the road, but he ran away from me - (A wise move, hubby says because said cat is likely to be catnapped by a certain Mrs Sims, who misses feline company)!<br />
Ran into a neighbour on her way to the shops.</div>
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If I had been in the wheelchair, I would have been perfectly happy to stop and talk to her.<br />
As it was, I thought 'Oh please, nooooo', and then felt guilty, especially since every year (even since her husband's death), she makes sure the 'neighbourhood Christmas Tree' still gets its lights, and that makes me happy.</div>
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We did say 'hello' but luckily for me (and my hips), she seemed in a hurry. Even so, by the time I got back down I was in agony and my breath was a bit raspy. It isn't usually that bad, but I had to use my breathing technique for the last little bit, to minimise pain.</div>
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It's a technique we were taught in hospital (when I was learning to re-walk). 2/3 normal breaths and a few more shallow breaths, and then a large exhale, and so on. It takes a bit of practice to get right, (and it doesn't always work), but I find it helps me - even if it is just because I'm so focussed on breathing that I'm less aware of the pain. It could easily be that.</div>
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We were also taught 'ways to fall' in order to minimise damage, which I almost do automatically now. Although it doesn't always work, because things happen in a split second. Making sure you let your hands (rather than legs/body) take the impact isn't always possible.</div>
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When you re-learn walking you have to focus on every step, and there is a part of me which still does that now too, and that is how I manage not to fall often. You become conscious of potential obstacles, different floor types, ground types, and distances.</div>
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<span style="line-height: 19.32px;">All of these things I have to think about while I'm walking, which is why I find it difficult to walk and talk at the same time, and why I get so tired, not just physically but mentally too. My mind has to be in so many different places at the same time.</span></div>
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Over the years I've become better at making those judgements, so that I can count my steps as well. Although I only do that on familiar terrain! Counting steps is useful for forgetting about distance. If I focus on the count, the distance is less significant.</div>
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One more thing I do, is to mentally divide and mark the ground, (especially if the pain is extra bad). I will aim for the end of each section and not think past that. It's a bit like identifying landmarks. In fact that's exactly what it IS.</div>
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Aim for a fence post, the end of a car, a manhole cover, a mark on the pavement or a piece of rubbish, anything like that. It is all second nature now - but as I'm losing what little mobility I have, many of these things won't be as necessary...</div>
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Anyway, that's how things are.</div>
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Today has been good, and it is Saturday. You know what that means?...WINE!</div>
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(Image: Google. - I thought pictures of walking aids were a bit obvious. I prefer the cat)! </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-46720855014392856012016-12-06T17:32:00.001+00:002016-12-06T18:06:46.453+00:00In the Box...<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
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I'm lying awake making a mental list of things I could put in a box and give to a homeless charity (or homeless person).</div>
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So far, I've come up with: Blankets, some pairs of gloves and socks, some chocolate, (I know that foodbanks are always afraid to ask for that, because it is seen by the public, as a 'luxury' item), some fruit, flasks, biscuits, woollen hats, 'Lemsip' type things, (I figure they could give them to people who need them, as and when).</div>
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I know they need hygiene products, so I'll try and add those,</div>
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Maybe they need pillows too? Maybe teddy bears for homeless kids? I don't know.</div>
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I quite often wonder about these things. It doesn't really help me with sleep much, even though it could be seen as a different version of 'counting sheep'!</div>
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I have always hated the fact that people only seem to think of the homeless when it is near Christmas time. I find myself thinking about them when it rains or it is cold outside!</div>
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It makes us the biggest bunch of hypocrites! 'Oh it is Christmas! Season of 'goodwill to all men', but as soon as it is over, it is all forgotten, and we get on with our lives.</div>
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I remember a couple of years ago, hubby and I were in Bristol, (walking through 'Broadmead'), when we saw a homeless man sitting outside a shop. I didn't have any money on me at the time, but I said "hello" anyway.</div>
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He looked so surprised, (and said "hello" back). The fact that he was so surprised to be spoken to hit me quite hard. He was obviously used to barely being acknowledged!</div>
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I thought 'Actually, that is the saddest thing. The fact that anyone is in that situation in bad enough, but the fact that they almost cease to be people worth acknowledging, is worse!</div>
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It's very similar to what is happening to disabled and ill people now. We are nameless 'scroungers'! What we are facing at the hands of government policy is barely acknowledged, and neither is the fact that we are dying in thousands, as a result.</div>
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None of this should be happening...should it?</div>
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#helenswriting<br />
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* This is not intended to be a 'Look at me, aren't I wonderful' post. This is a diary entry - written late at night, and I thought 'Maybe this makes some valid points, so I thought it was worth sharing).</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-91977617654035641022016-11-03T16:38:00.000+00:002016-11-03T16:38:29.597+00:00A Birthday Wish - Scrap the Work Compatibility Assessment.<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
What do I want for my birthday? </div>
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It's a question I dread because what I want, what I hope for,- what I really need, can't be bought.</div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129;">All I want is the </span>Work Compatibility Assessment to be scrapped, <span style="color: #1d2129;">so that no one else (including myself), has to fear it.</span></div>
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We are human beings! We don't choose disability and illness but <span style="line-height: 19.32px;">we have to justify ourselves for the right to basics, independence, dignity...LIFE!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Most people take those things for granted. They can feel safe, wanted and valued in society.</span></div>
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They are not being demonised, lied about and scapegoated by our government, and a mainstream media that is happy to do as it is told rather than report the TRUTH!</div>
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Thousands and thousands of people are dead as a direct (and indirect) result of government Welfare 'Reform' policies! Countless more are being left with nothing!</div>
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Just because you don't see it on the news or in the papers, it doesn't mean it isn't happening. Likely (if it isn't happening to you), it will be happening to someone you know.</div>
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People are living in fear of the letterbox in case it is their turn for assessment. People are having nightmares about that assessment. Nightmares full of judgement,darkness and fear.</div>
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I know, because I am having them myself. </div>
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In my case, I'm more frightened of the assessment than the outcome.</div>
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It doesn't matter how much I think I know or how much advice I get to try and be prepared. It is still there.</div>
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I have Cerebral Palsy which means I cannot walk or stand unaided. It is a condition which won't improve, and actually has started to deteriorate due to constant 'wear and tear' on my body. </div>
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Waking up from yet another nightmare, my muscles are tense and in spasm, which only adds to the (more or less constant) pain I am already in.</div>
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I was given (what was) 'Lifelong' Disability Living Allowance in recognition of the fact there would be no improvement in my condition.<br />
At some point soon, I will still have to face assessment in order to qualify for Personal Independence Payment.</div>
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When you suffer from depression and anxiety already (as I do), the worry is compounded. The constant 'scrounger' rhetoric hasn't helped either! I am not a 'scrounger' - I am a person, and I didn't ask for this,</div>
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I know I am luckier than a lot of people in that I have support. There are countless who are in far,far worse situations than myself, but what I want for my birthday, (the only thing I really want for my birthday), is that NO ONE should be having to go through this in a wealthy society.</div>
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Despite what government and media would have you believe, we ARE a wealthy society. At least we should be able to support people that need it.</div>
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The fact that we (apparently) can't is not the fault of those who already struggle, it is the fault of those at the 'top'. Why are we paying the price?!</div>
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Disability or illness can happen to anyone at any time. No one is immune. I think it is easy to forget that. It is easy to take your ability, your health, your freedom and that of those closest to you for granted, but all it would take is a few seconds or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and your life could change.</div>
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In an ideal world, what I want for my birthday (or a point very soon), is for all this to stop! Unfortunately though, I know it is too much to ask.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-62926448535659090292016-10-01T16:53:00.003+01:002016-10-05T16:31:26.354+01:00Being Realistic - A Response To The Scrapping of E.S.A Re-testing <div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Today, some big disability campaigning groups are celebrating because re-testing for ESA (Employment Support Allowance), has been scrapped, for those with long-term conditions.</div>
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'They' think it is because of their pressure and 'power'!</div>
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As a person with Cerebral Palsy, and a 'campaigner' for twenty seven years, I'd like to put forward (what I see as) a more realistic opinion. </div>
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Although these days, the opinions of lifelong campaigners (and those with lifelong disabilities, are often not considered). Those who shout loudest get heard. <span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;"> </span></div>
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In my opinion , it was not not a 'win' -for several reasons:</div>
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1. Only one 'benefit is effected. Those who are on PIP or still waiting for changeover from DLA to PIP (which includes myself and SOOOO many others, are still in the same situation as we were yesterday.</div>
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Those of us with lifelong conditions/ 'lifetime' awards of DLA, are STILL facing retesting -and FEAR.<br />
For me, it is NOT any sort of victory until EVERYONE is safe -and that includes from things like Bedroom Tax and Universal Credit TOO!</div>
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2. The reality of it is that most likely that the backlog/cost of repeated retesting/assessments is getting even more out of hand. When you add the appeals process to that, (and the fact that so many people are getting DWP decisions overturned), they realise they cannot deliver, so they acted to cut the backlog.</div>
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3. Every assessment costs MORE THAN IT SAVES. By the time you take 'Mandatory Reconsideration' and any appeal tribunal into account they are losing money -(which we did point out)!</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">4. The government claim that they have done this to cut down on OUR stress! NO. If that was the case, it would have been done in all the years before, It hasn't been, so why now? Because it suits them! It differentiates clearly between Cameron's leadership and that of Theresa May. It makes the new leadership LOOK compassionate and inclusive. It's all PR! It has NOTHING whatsoever to do with us!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">5. How do you know that they're not just throwing us a bone to distract us, - while they plan something worse and hit us with it later? It wouldn't be the first time! Also, where's the confirmation of how and when this is going to happen - from sources other than media? As yet I haven't seen any. There are no firm details on anything YET.Misinformation is rife - and I for one, am inclined to take everything this government says or does, with a large pinch of salt! </span></div>
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6. At this point also I would like to mention that it was only a few days ago Labour announced it would scrap reforms on assuming power. Could it not be that this government are getting in first, in a bid to secure re -election in 2020?!</div>
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Just some thoughts! </div>
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Likely I will be accused be of 'trouble-making' (once again), by daring to offer a different opinion, but I'm going to say it anyway! </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-66486803721208258442016-09-05T21:54:00.000+01:002016-09-05T22:26:55.862+01:00Marbles... <div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="line-height: 19.32px;">Coloured marbles</span></div>
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Lost and found,<br />
Every time they break <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><br />I'll stand my ground.</span></div>
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If I had a colour<br />
For every hour that went,<br />
My currency in marbles,<br />
Rainbows spent.</div>
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Let’s hear it for the marbles<br />
Shake them and they roll,<br />
For every day wasted<br />
Will take a toll.</div>
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#helenswriting</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-29906508842166198132016-08-29T21:35:00.001+01:002016-08-29T22:29:38.835+01:00Tomorrow Will Be Better!<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
"Do you want to know how I know you're feeling low, other than the fact you're withdrawn"?</div>
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"Mmm"</div>
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"You're playing Solitaire on the computer. You always do it."</div>
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"No I don't..."</div>
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"You probably don't even realise that you do it, but it's a give away!"</div>
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So, I thought about it, and I realised hubby's right. I think it must be that it is enough of a distraction so that I don't have to think -when there aren't any other ones.</div>
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The thing is if I knew what was wrong, I could TRY and take steps to correct it - but I don't. There's not one thing I can put my finger on, anyway.</div>
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It's the usual feelings that campaigning brings about, it's fear of the future, it's missing my family, it's writer's block, it's the book and it's just feeling yucky all the time and not being able to do much about any of it.</div>
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All of these things are going around in my head - all at once -and the relentless struggle against pain, disability and hormones don't help either.</div>
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Every time this happens I have to try really hard to remind myself that it is temporary, and that I will (and can) feel better. </div>
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I know that I have to just allow myself to feel all those things, and know that it passes - or at least gets easier.</div>
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The knowledge that I am my own worst enemy and that only I can change that, should help but it doesn't. How do you fight against yourself?!</div>
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I know that this is only a 'rough patch' rather than a full on slip back into depression because I can still see the wood for the trees. I'm aware that things WILL get better.</div>
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The times when I've been really ill, that has disappeared and so has the energy to fight it. I'm not going to let that happen.</div>
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Everyone is entitled to a bad day aren't they?</div>
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Tomorrow will be better. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7iHqCsUd_ZyaT7f4cQvjzdaPCL0fixb4pu7beIECu1wV3fJuCqZmlZe-CBaB6cEz_1cfa_jLt5jJxSGZgp-tlKGWIIzzqJ2mVwCslG1UOIrr-fVA0TXOTqSeIAojtfdaM6f9gv0SfyY8/s1600/tomorrow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="118" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7iHqCsUd_ZyaT7f4cQvjzdaPCL0fixb4pu7beIECu1wV3fJuCqZmlZe-CBaB6cEz_1cfa_jLt5jJxSGZgp-tlKGWIIzzqJ2mVwCslG1UOIrr-fVA0TXOTqSeIAojtfdaM6f9gv0SfyY8/s320/tomorrow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4555487560400568764.post-17860846883115480222016-08-27T21:41:00.002+01:002016-08-27T21:41:33.184+01:00Reality Bites! -(Short Poem)<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Reality TV numbs the brain, you know,<br />Just another hyped up show!<br />Shallow subjects<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline !important; font-family: inherit;"><br />That thrill Joe Public,<br />They really make me sick!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Edited, Unreal,</span></div>
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They manipulate how we feel,<br />But still<br />We fall for it.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 19.32px;">Faces, bums</span></div>
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Vacuous and dumb,<br />That fill hour after hour.<br />A mass distraction,<br />Showbiz attraction,<br />Plays right for the hands of power!</div>
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#helenswriting</div>
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Image: Via Google.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0