The Reject Doll (Poem - 1996)

I've always been a reject doll
Left alone at night,
I'm the reject doll,
My legs don't work right.

The reject doll's in the window
Watching the world go by,
I have a lopsided smile
I can't cry.

I'm the reject doll,
Tossed to one side,
Friends said they cared,
They lied.

I've always been the reject doll,
Lift me up,
Put me down
See my wobbly legs,
Throw me on the ground.

I know that I'm a reject doll,
I've always been that way,
Listen to the reject doll
She has a lot to say.

Now I'm not a reject doll,
It's taken time,
But now I'm there,
I'm no longer the reject doll,
I've found someone who cares.

Now I'm not a reject doll,
There's a peace that lies in me,
The lonely little reject doll,
Can smile,
And know she's free.

Written age fifteen, five months after major orthopaedic surgery. During this period my depression was at its worst. I was trying to come to terms with my disability, learn to walk from scratch, manage school work and I was a teenager to boot! It was not an easy time, but I think some of what I consider to be my best writing was done during that first year or so after surgery.

Writing is great therapy and has always been my constant during even the worst times. I'm proud of the fact that even then I was determined those poems would have a positive ending.



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