Nothing Short of Barbaric - A Thunderclap!

Hello everyone! 


Please support my thunderclap, which will be 'released' from 11.30am onwards, tomorrow. (7th May). It is scheduled to run until the 10th.


Please don't forget to read the blog itself. (It's the black link on the Thunderclap page - or you can read it here:  http://to-helen.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/nothing-short-of-barbaric-2015-update_32.html so  that you are aware of what you're supporting.


For those that don't know me, I have Cerebral Palsy, and have been a disability rights campaigner, (at varying levels) for twenty six years.


Please help me raise awareness of what disabled and ill people are facing, by supporting my thunderclap, click here: https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/25954-nothing-short-of-barbaric?locale=en and then click 'add my support'' -according to which social network you are using.

On the day, thunderclap will automatically post on your behalf to say you have supported me. 

After that it's a case of share, share, share!

The hashtags to add to your tweets/shares are as follows:

#helenswriting #nomoredeaths #welfareceasefire #GE2015 #VoteCameronOut #scrapwca

#NothingShortofBarbaric or # ridtheUKoftheetorieson7thmay!

I hope you can join me.

Thank you.

Helen

Nothing Short of Barbaric - (2015 Update)

A Freedom of Information document (of nearly three years ago) from the DWP revealed that there is an average of seventy three deaths a week  a result of Welfare Reform. A lot of time has passed since then, and it is the suspicion of many, that the number has risen further, but the Department for Work and Pensions has not released the information. I wonder why?

 I  want this to stop, more than anything else in the world. I want people to wake up to the pain, suffering, misery and death, we're facing. I want this government, gone.

How many more vulnerable, sick and disabled people have to die before something is done?!

As a disabled person, I don't want to live in this country any more. We're frightened of losing our benefits and our independence. It is happening.

People are being left with nothing! Vulnerable, sick and disabled people are being left destitute after having their benefits wrongly cut, by a cruel and callous government!

As a person with Cerebral Palsy, who cannot walk or stand unaided, I know my turn for an assessment is coming soon...and I'm terrified! I know I will fail.

I'm luckier than some I know, because I have my wonderful husband (and his Pension Credit) to help us live, but there will be no more independence for me (what there is of it), because if I lose my Disability Living Allowance, I may as well close my bank account. There will be nothing going into it!

I'm going to be completely reliant on my husband, and feel even more of a burden than I already do. At the moment I can help pay household bills - just like any 'normal' wife does. I can get taxis to see friends, and attend appointments alone when I am able. It enables me to feel just like everyone else.

The government has already taken a lot of my self esteem, and my place in society. The constant, relentless lies about Disability Benefit Fraud has done that for me.

You see, the real fraud figures are very different to what the government would have you believe. In reality only 1 in every 200 claimants is committing fraud, but  the unceasing'scrounger' rhetoric has made me, and many others feel virtually worthless, and very unwanted - no matter how genuine we are.

I hate this country and I'm beginning to hate myself again. I thought I'd accepted my life, it's limitations and constant pain.

I know I will never be a mother and I know I won't work again. I did work once - for a year. I was dedicated, hard working, and always there when needed, but I was exhausted and in agony. I came home...and slept.

My boss knew I was struggling. I was pale and losing weight. When my contract came to an end, they didn't renew it.

I was heartbroken because I loved my job, but I was relieved at the same time. In reality I didn't know how much I could take.

I'm exhausted now, and my pain (through wear and tear on my body) is worse. It is always there, and some days I can barely move, never mind get myself out of bed and get to work!

Who is going to employ me? I'd have  to take regular days off because I am mind numbingly exhausted and in agony. Not to mention the frequent hospital and GP appointments...!

How many times will my employer put up with me saying "I'm sorry, I can't come in today"...before they sack me, in favour of somebody who CAN?!

This is not my fault. I didn't choose my life - none of us did. None of us would! To cut our benefits now, in this economic climate when there are no jobs even for the able bodied, is nothing short of barbaric!

It is inhumane, callous and cruel to treat a whole section of society in this way. The fact that we are some of the poorest, most vulnerable people in society just makes it worse!

How can they do it? How can they hurt people like this? How is it right that this government is able to drive people to suicide (regularly) and hardly anyone bats an eye lid?!

Why is this not a real Human Rights issue by now? Surely it counts as one! It is the oppression of people, and that should be covered somewhere...somehow.

It feels like the best we can hope for (in terms of Human Rights, other than a change of government), is the investigation by the United Nations into what it called ‘grave violations’ of Disabled People’s Human Rights, by the UK government, which was launched in 2014.

Disabled People’s Organisations, and individuals, were asked to submit evidence in order to help make a case. As far as I am aware, at the time of this update, the investigation, is still ongoing. You can find details, here:

http://www.disabilityrightsuk.org/news/2014/august/un-committee-rights-disabled-people

It was also announced in recent months that the Department for Work and Pensions has investigated sixty benefit related deaths. Details below:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/dec/14/dwp-inquiries-benefit-claimant-suicides

Campaigners feel that sixty is just the tip of the iceberg, and that a Cumulative Impact Assessment into the effects of Welfare Reform should have been done. It hasn't been, and I keep thinking, 'do we matter that little'?!

I wonder where has the compassion gone? That's what makes me saddest I think. People just don't seem to care like they used to. Have we become that selfish and blinkered as a society, that we can close our eyes to the suffering of others? If we have, it makes me more ashamed of what is happening here!

I no longer trust people like I did, and I will never forgive this government for that. When is it my turn to become a statistic in the 20% national rise in Disability Hate Crime? I'm terrified it will happen.

Will I be one of the people who gets my property vandalised? Will I be verbally abused or physically attacked when I go out in my wheelchair? That thought crosses my mind every time I go out. People should not have to live like this!

We suffer enough, and now we have to deal with victimisation, extra anxiety and pure fear for our futures as well.

It is easy to make judgements. In my case, my disability is visible, but there are so many illnesses and disabilities that aren't, and it is these people who are often victims of 'Scrounger' abuse, but just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't there.

It is these people too, who will suffer most as a result of the assessment process. The suffering caused by mental illness or invisible disability is not as easily quantifiable - but it can be just as debilitating as any physical visible condition.

As for me, I don't know what will happen to me on assessment day. I don't know if I'll be able to handle questions based on a 'tick box' computer programme, that doesn't allow for pain or variation and rarely takes a person's medical records in to account. I know that I'll be set up to fail.

I know that it could be a person who is not medically qualified and who, after meeting me for forty five minutes, will decide whether I get to keep my life, my independence, and my pride intact.

No wonder I wake up sweating, (that's if I actually get to sleep of course)! No wonder I am plagued by anxiety that buries itself in the pit of my stomach every night and refuses to budge. I am fighting for my life. We all are. I'm waiting for an envelope to drop on the mat and tell me that it's my turn.

Every time the letter box goes, I jump half a mile out of my skin! I am unable to open, or even look at official envelopes because I am so scared that it just might be it. It isn't just me. The panic and fear I feel every single day is widespread through the disabled people of this country.

My only consolation, is knowing that I am not alone.

Disabled and ill people like me, need your help at the election. I'd beg you if I could. This should not be happening to us. We need to vote this government out, and elect a party who will at least try to care.

Even if you feel that can't get involved do that, you'd be surprised how much difference a few kind words of support can make. It gives people hope when it can feel like there is none.

I'm asking you - one human being to another - to not let them take our lives. There is no difference between you and I. Anyone can be struck by illness or disability at any time. No one is immune. It only takes a second for lives to be changed forever, and I hope that if it does, there will be someone there who is willing to fight for you.

For full 'Freedom of Information' document - see link below:

http://statistics.dwp.gov.uk/asd/asd1/adhoc_analysis/2012/incap_decd_recips_0712.pdf

#helenswriting

She's (not) in Fashion!

Some of my pet hates, - (I have several), are beauty standards, and the 'fashion' industry.

I mean, please! Who the hell has any right to decide what's beautiful and what's not, - or what's 'in' and what's not?!

Who died and made fashion designers arbiters of good taste?!


Half the things that are so called 'fashionable', I wouldn't be seen dead in! How dare anybody tell me what I should and shouldn't be wearing?!

It's what's on the inside of a person that counts, not what they look like, or which 'designer label' they are wearing.

If you're anything like me, though, you'll probably end up spilling orange juice or cake down it, on its second outing!
Having said that, if it really makes you feel better to spend a fortune on a piece of clothing that will be 'out of date' in twelve months, then do it.


The fashion industry often makes people feel that they have to be a certain weight, or look a certain way, to be considered 'attractive' or 'good enough', and that's rubbish!


Being 'attractive' is as about confidence, I think, as much as anything else. Once you've come to terms with who you are, and you 'own' your imperfections and faults, what people see, matters less. It's about being comfortable in your own skin.


I won't pretend to be the most confident person in the world, I'm not. There are times when I'm plagued by self doubt, but it's been a fair while since that extended to how I look. Now, I just accept that there are some things about myself I can't change, - but it took me a very long time to get here.

Having a disability - (I have Cerebral Palsy), immediately makes you different, (at least in a lot of people's eyes). I wasn't meant to 'fit in', and maybe to a certain extent, that has helped me. It's easier to follow your own path -when you're on a different one to start with!

I'm not saying it's easy. When I was a teenager, I worried terribly about my weight, and then again in my early twenties, and I'd be lying if I told you, that I'm completely free of that, but the only reason I worry about my weight now, is a practical one, not emotional.

If I put on too much weight, my mobility will become even more restricted than it is already. My hips and knees will need replacing, at a much earlier stage than I'm ready for.

I know those operations will have to happen sooner or later,due to 'wear and tear' that goes with Cerebral Palsy, but I've spent enough time in hospital to know that I will do anything I can, to avoid going back there, too soon!

As a teenager too, I had all the teenage angst, - 'will anybody ever want me'? 'Oooh, I really hate my hair' - and that was compounded by the worry, that boys (and later, men) wouldn't be able to see past the disability, and just see me.


Disability is a lot to come to terms with, and it's even harder, when you're battling depression, and you've got all the teenage hormones, flying through your system.I won't pretend I've entirely come to terms with my disability, and the limitations placed on my life, either, but I'm further along that road, than I ever thought I would be.

I know who I am now, and maybe that's why I don't feel the need to worry about make -up or fashion.

It's not that I don't take pride in my appearance. I love shopping for brightly coloured tunic tops. I feel comfortable and relaxed in those, and that's my point.You don't need to be governed by what society tells you is 'attractive', 'fashionable' or will give you a certain 'status'. You just have to learn to accept yourself, and wear what makes you feel good.

If that IS keeping up to date with the latest fashion, wearing expensive make -up,and having a 'designer' handbag, go for it, but what I'm saying is, it doesn't have to be!

You have nothing to prove to anyone else. Not your friends, not your family, and definitely not 'society!'


Fashion is fleeting, and so is life. Do what makes you happy inside, and makes you glad to wake up every morning.

Don't spend your time worrying about what the people think of you, because they won't remember what you were wearing, or how you looked, but they will remember, who you are!




#helenswriting

(Image: 'Pinterest)   

Things/People I am Avoiding - (A Bit of Fun, or is it)?

 A bit of fun. Written to relieve the ever building (pre election)  tension that is building in me, and most other campaigners.

My personal list of things, and people I intend to avoid, for at least the next month, or several! 

It is based on my opinions only, and not meant to cause offence!

I will be avoiding:

Polling reports (if you read them, please remember to look into who funded them, before you believe what they tell you).

Party Political Broadcasts

Jeremy Clarkson

Anything to do with the royal baby. I am really NOT interested...

UKIP

Election Leaflets

People who shout 'vote Tory/UKIP/Labour' at me. (I will vote for who I like thank you, and you just sound desperate)!

Iain Duncan Smith/David Cameron - because I can't handle any more lies, and spin. All I can think about when I see them, is the anxiety,pain, and death their policies have inflicted on disabled people.

A certain Deputy Prime Minister (who thinks appearing on 'The Last Leg' will help him appeal to voters! -BULLSHIT BUTTON)!

It won't help. People don't trust you, or your party, and we also know that despite what you claim, your party has not 'protected disabled people from cuts'. Your party voted them IN! 

Boris Johnson - (If he ever gets anywhere number ten, I'm leaving the country)!

People who say 'I don't get it! What's wrong with this government, exactly'? - (I haven't got a spare TEN YEARS to tell you, and if you don't know already, you clearly don't know me well enough to be asking)!

Mainstream media political 'debates' (because they aren't 'debates' - I think the questions are chosen, as is the audience, so fair and balanced, they are NOT)!

- In short, I am 'electioned out', and have a horrible feeling that nothing is going to change.
I am considering undertaking some sort of hibernation, or cryogenic freezing, until the world is a better place to be. xx

#helenswriting

The Power of My Pen - (AKA 'Me, to a Tea)'

I get angry when characters don’t work,
Wasted time drives this writer berserk!
More screwed up paper is tossed in the bin
Frustration is the demon within!

I’m working hard here to make you all laugh,
Send IDS, and I might have to barf!
I’ll tell you loudly that Cameron’s an ass,
Might even sing if you fill up my glass!

Save yourselves please and don’t mention ‘The Clegg’
I’ll start on betrayal and ‘pulling of legs’!
Spare me his face, I’m not in the mood,
If Cameron’s there too then I’ll be really rude!

They can go sit in those ivory towers
While the people below them struggle for hours!
Disability came and it robbed our choices
Now they trample on us and don’t hear our voices!

Where was I? Oh yes, with my paper and pen
Just for a minute I got distracted then!
You tell me breathe deeply and try to stay calm,
I’m afraid I won’t do that, while people do harm.

You see I can’t stop caring and won’t stop sharing,
Like I’m bothered if you don’t agree!
If I just sip my cup, keep my mouth shut and give up
Then I’d be betraying me.

So what? I don’t walk well and I can’t have a job,
But don’t think I will sit here, be docile, and sob!
Offer me tea and find you needn’t ask twice,
If you give me chocolate, I’ll be really nice!

Just for a second while I cave to the rush,
Don’t think my resistance will ever be crushed!
Wait one moment, I’m distracted again
But never underestimate the power of my pen...

#helenswriting

What I'm Feeling Now, and a Plea...

'As long as you've tried your best, that's all anyone can ask of you'


- and I have, but I hate feeling, that the next four weeks, and then the next five years, are (to a degree) out of our hands, - and in the hands of people who might have little idea of what's happening to disabled people.

The anxiety is beginning to get to me, again and there are knots in my stomach.

I wish I could make people (who don't want to), see that we're dying in our thousands, and we'll go on dying, if things don't change.

I'll go on having to talk people out of suicide, ringing the police, and just hoping against hope, that they get there in time.

I'll go on writing about what I'm scared of, in the hope that someone might take notice, when they didn't before, - but what if they don't?!

What if everything we've seen happen, and tried our best to raise awareness of, means nothing?!

How are we supposed to do this, (at this level), for another five years?! I dread it, but I'll do it, if I've got to.

Campaigning, before this government, was so different.

It was making sure that we had access and support, and pushing for a more equal place in society, and helping to spread positivity about disabled people.

We didn't know when we were well off!

I would give anything to have the days when writing an email, letter, or making a phone call, was enough to get things moving.

Now it's about saving lives, unfair sanctions, foodbanks, and desperation of people who have been left with next to nothing, and barely got the energy to fight back!

It's about sharing information, and then doubting it, thinking 'wait a minute, - is that right'? 'Have they changed it behind our backs'?! What the hell are they going to do to  us, next?!

If you'd told me when I started 'campaigning' (as a little eight year old), that nearly twenty six years later, disabled people would be in a worse situation, than we were, I wouldn't have believed you.

I know I've said it over and over, but with the election four weeks away, (at the time of writing), it needs to be said again...and again.

Disabled people are frightened, actually, maybe terrified, is a better word. Terrified of  losing vital benefits, support, independence, dignity, and self -respect. I actually have nightmares about having to face the 'Work Compatibility Assessment. I wake up sweating, and tense.

As a person with Cerebral Palsy, (I cannot walk, or stand unaided), anything that makes body tense, will add to my pain, and that's exactly what the nightmares, and anxiety do.

We shouldn't be living like this. Scared in our own homes - having nightmares, and jumping at the sound of the letter box, in case it's an ATOS/Maximus appointment, where we have to go and justify our right to basics, and seemingly, a right to a life.

All we want, all I want, is a chance to live my life the best way I can, despite its limitations, constant pain and tiredness. I want to feel secure again, and sleep soundly. I want to feel valued in society, and not like I am an unworthy burden.

It has hurt me badly (and made my depression worse) to be labelled a 'Scrounger', and vilified in the eyes of society, by government, and the media.

I am a person. WE are people! We have thoughts, ideas, and feelings, just like everyone else! We are not just numbers on a page, and our lives are hard enough already!  I am not a 'scrounger'. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister! I am Helen!

Independence and dignity are precious things. They become even more precious, when you are disabled or ill, because you have so little of it!

With a further twelve billion pounds of social security cuts planned, if the government wins the election, all of those things we hold so dear, (and that the able-bodied seem to take for granted), will further disappear, for us.

The anxiety and fear, we already feel about having to face the (unfair and discriminatory) 'Work Compatibility Assessment', is being further added to, by not knowing where the axe will fall, if this government get re-elected.

I want this to stop, more than anything else in the world. I don't want to feel frightened any more.

You have the chance (in May) to vote this government out.

Please, for the sake of every disabled person that has died, and for every one of us that are suffering please, take it, because we can't take another five years, of pain.

#helenswriting

Dear Mr Cameron

Dear Mr Cameron,

Using your (dead) disabled child, to score political points, is disgusting, and the fact that your government has inflicted untold misery,pain, and DEATH on disabled people, for the last five years, makes it doubly sick!

You are a vile, despicable, heartless, out of touch, slimy, arrogant, excuse for a human being, and I LOATHE YOU!

Anybody who votes for a man like you, heading a party, with such a cruel, and callous agenda, needs their head read!

You have destroyed the lives of thousands of disabled people, and what is even more concerning is that you have vilified us, in the eyes of society, by labelling us as 'scroungers'.
You have no idea how damaging and hurtful that is. It has eroded self esteem, and dented any confidence, I was building up!

My Cerebral Palsy is not a choice. Any form of disability, or illness, is not a choice, yet we are being punished by your government for being disabled! I did not choose to be in pain. and tired. I did not choose not to be able to walk or stand, unaided. I would give anything to change it, but I can't! 

Your government has made my life harder, and I feel that I have to justify my existence. My anxiety and depression has been made worse, by government (and media), use of 'scrounger' rhetoric, and I want it to stop. Please. 

I'm sick of feeling frightened.

Disabled and ill people just want to live as 'normal' a life as we can, have independence,dignity, security. and self respect. We used to be seen as people, but I don't feel we are now. You have taken that from us!

You have closed the Independent Living Fund, leaving thousands of people without treasured independence. and support. Cuts to services have been equally damaging.Fear of the Work Compatibility Assessment, gives me nightmares, and I jump at the sound of the letterbox, -just in case it's my turn.

Your cuts to vital social security, has lead to devastation and death, for thousands of us, and there can be no justifiable excuse for that, EVER!No one, should be living in fear, at the hands of their government Disabled and ill people deserve better.

Yours sincerely

Helen


#helenswriting

*This is my opinion and what I believe to be true, at the time of writing