Saturday, 12 January 2013

Proud to Be Me!

 I didn't go to University, and I didn't get the journalism degree I would've wanted.

If you knew me during my school days (including my A levels) you might know that I suffered badly with depression, anxiety and pain, on top of the Cerebral Palsy, and  everything else!

You will also know that I did well enough in my GCSE's to do the A levels I wanted, but I was pressured to do three rather than two, which I could've managed better.

What you might not know, however, is that during my A level exams, I suffered the worst panic attacks I have ever had in my life!

During my R.E. exams, I was shaking so much that I could barely hold a pen, and during my English exams I had searing pain in my hips on both days, made worse by the fact that my body was tensing.

As a result, I failed two A levels and passed English, but I was heartbroken by the grade. I had worked as I could (given my circumstances) during that time.

It is the opinion of some (not that it matters now - but I'll say it anyway), that I 'did not work hard enough' and I have 'wasted my talent' by not going to University.

So let's sort a few things out. If I had gone to University I know that I wouldn't have been able to hack it then - the same as now. I fall apart in exams!

I wouldn't have met my amazingly kind, sensitive, wonderful husband, and whilst I might be earning more, and be measured as a 'success' by society (as well as certain members of my family), I'm SURE that I would not be able to devote my life to writing and campaigning - the way I can now.

If only society understood that 'success' isn't about how much money you earn, whether you live in a 'posh' house, or have the latest gadgets  - it's about what type of person you are, and what you 'put out there'.

This government (above almost everyone) needs to learn that lesson. People who claim benefits are not worthless 'scroungers'.We know what it's like to struggle and survive against all the odds. We know how to value and care for others.

Therefore, we are worth a million of the people who run this country. I would not trade my life (exactly the way it is) for their wealth and position - not for one single second.

I'd rather keep my compassion, openness, honesty and struggles than live like they do - destroying people's lives without any thought for the consequences.

So as of now, I refuse to let anybody (including this government), tell me that (in their eyes at least) I am a failure.

If what I've been through, and continue to go through makes me a failure, 'feckless,' 'workshy' or a 'scrounger' - then fine, but the problem is with society and NOT with me - or with any of us!

I am proud to be who I am, and I'm proud of what I do. No government is going to make me feel otherwise - EVER AGAIN!