The Fight Still Goes On...

Is it hard, being a campaigner?

It was easier, when I was younger, - before this government. Before this government, it was access issues - 'excuse me, any chance we could have a ramp here'? ''These doors cold be electric, you know...' 'yes, but when you get the wheelchairs, INSIDE the lift, there's barely any room, to close the door!' Or, 'excuse me, you can't do that', 'these buses need level access. You're breaking the law...!'

Now, it's 'but they're killing us! People are starving...'

It's being told we're any variant, of 'benefit scrounging scum' ...on an almost daily basis, by this government, or the media.

I've lost count of the times I've had to say, 'actually, those figures aren't correct. You're being lied to. Benefit fraud is actually...percent!'

I feel worthless, every time the government spouts more 'scrounger rhetoric' and lies to people. I'm not a 'scrounger' - I'm Helen,- and for the record, disabled, and ill people, have to struggle, just to manage the easiest of tasks, and just to get through the day! Surely, that is the very definition of 'striving?!' - But no, that doesn't count! WE don't count, now.

Even when I'm trying to 'take a break,' my brain won't switch off. There's guilt. I feel like I should be doing this, that, or the other. I should be reading, or writing this,that or the other!

I'm getting better at saying, (to myself), I'll do it later, but it takes ages, for the knots to leave my stomach.

I'm not alone. There are so many of us, that carry those feelings around with us, and the fight, never stops! If we don't make a stand, and say that all this anxiety, fear, suffering, pain, and death, is wrong, - who will?!

We can't count on the law to protect us, because the bastards in government, will change that, if something doesn't go their way!

We can't count on (many) politicians to protect us, because they are the problem! Them, and their twisted, harmful, and sick ideology - which says the poor and vulnerable, should suffer, while the rich, pay less tax, get bonuses, and kick us. while we're down!

Nobody asks for a disability or illness. It's not a choice! Nobody asks to be poor, either.

We are fighting harder now, and it's a different fight to when I started. We have to fight for basics, and the right to be viewed as human beings, and not nameless 'scroungers!'

I never thought this could, or would happen, but it is. and we're living it.

Is it hard, being a campaigner? It's beyond hard, and it's heartbreaking.

I wouldn't wish what so many people are going through, on my worst enemy, and I often feel that whatever I do, it is never enough.

I won't get started on 'group politics', self imposed campaigner hierarchies, egos, and the day to day grind of the way all that works! That's another layer of stress!

That's why I stay out of groups, and I don't have any party allegiances. I speak for myself, and myself only. If people agree with me, fine. If people don't, that's fine, too!

The cause is more important than me. It's more important than any one person. I believe in it, with everything that I am, and even though, I want to run away screaming, on a regular basis, and never campaign another day in my life, I can't do that. It's part of me. It always has been - and it always will be.