Saturday, 25 April 2015

She's (not) in Fashion!

Some of my pet hates, - (I have several), are beauty standards, and the 'fashion' industry.

I mean, please! Who the hell has any right to decide what's beautiful and what's not, - or what's 'in' and what's not?!

Who died and made fashion designers arbiters of good taste?!

Half the things that are so called 'fashionable', I wouldn't be seen dead in! How dare anybody tell me what I should and shouldn't be wearing?!

It's what's on the inside of a person that counts, not what they look like, or which 'designer label' they are wearing.

If you're anything like me, though, you'll probably end up spilling orange juice or cake down it, on its second outing!
Having said that, if it really makes you feel better to spend a fortune on a piece of clothing that will be 'out of date' in twelve months, then do it.

The fashion industry often makes people feel that they have to be a certain weight, or look a certain way, to be considered 'attractive' or 'good enough', and that's rubbish!

Being 'attractive' is as about confidence, I think, as much as anything else. Once you've come to terms with who you are, and you 'own' your imperfections and faults, what people see, matters less. It's about being comfortable in your own skin.

I won't pretend to be the most confident person in the world, I'm not. There are times when I'm plagued by self doubt, but it's been a fair while since that extended to how I look. Now, I just accept that there are some things about myself I can't change, - but it took me a very long time to get here.

Having a disability - (I have Cerebral Palsy), immediately makes you different, (at least in a lot of people's eyes). I wasn't meant to 'fit in', and maybe to a certain extent, that has helped me. It's easier to follow your own path -when you're on a different one to start with!

I'm not saying it's easy. When I was a teenager, I worried terribly about my weight, and then again in my early twenties, and I'd be lying if I told you, that I'm completely free of that, but the only reason I worry about my weight now, is a practical one, not emotional.

If I put on too much weight, my mobility will become even more restricted than it is already. My hips and knees will need replacing, at a much earlier stage than I'm ready for.

I know those operations will have to happen sooner or later,due to 'wear and tear' that goes with Cerebral Palsy, but I've spent enough time in hospital to know that I will do anything I can, to avoid going back there, too soon!

As a teenager too, I had all the teenage angst, - 'will anybody ever want me'? 'Oooh, I really hate my hair' - and that was compounded by the worry, that boys (and later, men) wouldn't be able to see past the disability, and just see me.

Disability is a lot to come to terms with, and it's even harder, when you're battling depression, and you've got all the teenage hormones, flying through your system.I won't pretend I've entirely come to terms with my disability, and the limitations placed on my life, either, but I'm further along that road, than I ever thought I would be.

I know who I am now, and maybe that's why I don't feel the need to worry about make -up or fashion.

It's not that I don't take pride in my appearance. I love shopping for brightly coloured tunic tops. I feel comfortable and relaxed in those, and that's my point.You don't need to be governed by what society tells you is 'attractive', 'fashionable' or will give you a certain 'status'. You just have to learn to accept yourself, and wear what makes you feel good.

If that IS keeping up to date with the latest fashion, wearing expensive make -up,and having a 'designer' handbag, go for it, but what I'm saying is, it doesn't have to be!

You have nothing to prove to anyone else. Not your friends, not your family, and definitely not 'society!'

Fashion is fleeting, and so is life. Do what makes you happy inside, and makes you glad to wake up every morning.

Don't spend your time worrying about what the people think of you, because they won't remember what you were wearing, or how you looked, but they will remember, who you are!


(Image: 'Pinterest)   

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